Introduction to an Actress...

I thought it was about time that I got around to properly introducing myself. My name is Lauryn but most of my friends and family only refer to me as Laur. I am 21 years old and a junior in college (woohoo!). My hobbies include working out, playing with my puppy, singing, playing the piano and guitar, and playing soccer. For me, where I am is a huge testament to how far I’ve come. Life hasn’t always been so easy and I have not always known whether I would make it this far. I was a very healthy child. An extremely athletic competitive soccer player who was on the brink of breaking into the Olympic scene. No really…It was 2012 and I had just received my second invite to join the Junior Olympics Women’s Soccer League where I would have to move across the globe to Australia with my trainers and coach and begin a life away from everything I’d ever known. The first time I had politely declined, much to the chagrin of my parents and coaches. But now,  I was 14 years old and already had my entire career laid out before me. Things were good and I felt great. I was ready to go. 

(The Junior Olympics is a sort of prerequisite to the actual Olympics. You train with the same coaches and trainers but due to age restrictions are not allowed to actually compete in the Olympic Games themselves.) 

Not everything goes to plan. That is a phrase that has proved itself to be tried and true throughout the entirety go my life. That same year, my brother passed away. It was unexpected and devastating. We were broken and confused. So I did what I always do, I hid myself in my work. Played harder than I’ve ever played, steered clear of my home and went to extra trainings, conditionings, practices. Anything that could keep me from having to face our home that he was no longer in. I ran and ran and ran until I couldn’t anymore. 

At the beginning of 2012, I noticed strange dizzy spells that would come and go. I pushed them aside just attributing it to a new medication my coaches had suggested I begin taking in order to keep my electrolytes up. Electrolytes…no big deal. Almost every athlete has dealt with the effects of low electrolytes. It was normal and I wasn’t worried. I didn’t want to tell my parents. They were already dealing with so much. And so I just kept running. Kept going. Kept training. Until one day, in a workout, the dizziness became a little too much. The next thing I know, I’m waking up with machines beeping and chords attached to my body. No one knew what had happened. All we were told was my blood pressure was dangerously low and my heart rate was dangerously high. They said that I needed to be transported to a hospital where they could work to fix it. And so I went…for six weeks. I was constantly being tested for disease after disease. During this time, I started having seizures. Before the doctor’s said it I knew. 

I knew that the doctors were speaking but all I could hear was mumbling. I was there, in the same room, but couldn’t hear a single world. I was able to pick out a few phrases however…”Paraneoplastic Syndrome”…”Cancer”…”Dysautonomia”…”Gastroparesis”…”No more soccer”. That’s all I heard. That’s all I knew. That and whatever information I could find on WebMD. I knew I was sick. I knew I was hurt. I knew that my soccer career was over. And I was devastated. In a hospital room. Surrounded by white walls and a constant steady beep that would occasionally speed up unexpectedly, crying in hallways, and blank hospital food. These walls became my home for a long time. 

When I was released I fought for a long time to be outside of my body. This new body…the one riddled with disease and pain was nothing like the old, strong, athletic body I knew and loved. I wanted to trade it back in. Get my old car back. Not this broken one. I wanted to be somewhere else, someone else. 

And all of a sudden, it kind of just fell into my lap. Acting. A passion I didn’t know I had or needed. It was the best thing to ever happen to me. The brightest light I’ve ever known. A close family friend was a producer and happened to ask me to audition for a show she was working on. It traveled across the country and I would even get paid. A big plus for me. So, I did it. Why not, right? I had nothing to lose. But, I got the part. And I gained the world. I gained a way to be outside of my body for a moment. To play a character who didn’t know me. Didn’t feel the pain I felt. Didn’t know the disappointment and abandonment I knew. On that stage, looking into that audience I was free. I was able to share my heart with those watching. To lay down my insecurities and pick up someone else’s. It was the most beautiful release. And I needed it. I continued to act all throughout high school. Auditioning in and outside of school. Performing show after show, picking up character after character. And I was joyful. More joyful than I’ve ever been in my entire life. More joyful than soccer had ever made me. Somehow, I had found my passion. In the darkest time of my life I had found my brightest light. Acting saved me. It saved me. And it always will. And I can’t wait. Not everything goes to plan. And I am so grateful the it doesn't. 

My family is amazing. Believe me. The best in the world. The hospital is a boring place. But they make it so great every single time I'm admitted. You can see just how great they are in the pictures below:

(Pictures by Stacy McCardell)